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Relationship Inventory

Do you want more from your relationship? Are you unsure how to improve your current situation? Has something changed and you want to get back to where you once were?

Please take a few minutes to answer the following questionnaire on our relationship/intimacy inventory for a quick assessment of the challenges and strengths you have in your relationship. Understand that while all relationships face occasional difficulties, it’s possible to experience improved intimacy and fulfilling connections with your partner. Grab a piece of paper and a pen (or print this page) and mark down the answer that best fits your situation. Remember that this is not a test – there are no right or wrong answers. The point is to help you to see more clearly those areas in your life and relationship that are strong and satisfying, as well as those that you may wish to improve upon. Writing it down has a unique way of bringing clarity to the overwhelming situation you may sometimes find yourself in.

Go ahead – give it a try! If you like what you see when you’re done, great! Appreciate what you have and continue doing good work. If you see areas that you would like to improve and would like some help or coaching along the way, please give us a call to see if we can assist you in reaching the peace you are looking for.

Let’s get started!

1.  My partner and I are able to openly share our feelings with each other and feel accepted and understood:
A.   Most of the time
B.   Some of the time
C.   Occasionally
D.   Infrequently, if at all

2.  When we disagree:
A.   It may result in conflict, however we can resolve our differences
B.   Conflicts rarely occur, and if they do the situation appears to resolve itself
C.   Conflicts go unresolved, and we prefer not to address the difficult issues
D.   We no longer have conflicts and the issue goes unresolved

3.  Personal Style
A.   We each have our own style and they complement each other very nicely
B.   We each have our own style but there are areas that keep causing some friction
C.   It’s a struggle, but I manage to maintain some of my individuality
D.   It’s better if I don’t rock the boat by trying to assert myself

 4.  We usually agree on how to spend money and on our financial goals:
A.   Most of the time we agree and are able to compromise or make adjustments when necessary
B.   Our common interests and values do not cause any major conflicts
C.   Many times we do not agree and find it difficult to discuss financial issues
D.   We may disagree, and my partner usually controls financial and other aspects of our relationship

5.  Leisure time with my partner:
A.   Is relaxing and enjoyable most of the time
B.   Can be enjoyable if we both feel like participating in the activity
C.   More often than I would prefer, our together-time ends up in a disagreement or an argument
D.   Our leisure time is spent alone or with others rather than together

6.  I am satisfied with the amount of affection (holding hands, cuddling, etc…) I receive from my partner:
A.   Most of the time
B.   Sometimes
C.   Occasionally
D.   Not at all

7.  My partner and I enjoy a satisfying sexual relationship:
A.   Agree – I feel connected and comfortable with our sexual relationship
B.   I feel we connect most of the time, however our relationship could be less routine
C.   Sometimes we connect, but I would like our sexual relationship to improve
D.   Our sexual relationship is an area that can easily result in conflict and disagreement

8.  My partner and I have similar values, beliefs and long-term goals:
 A.   Yes, for the most part, and when we differ we are able to talk it through and come to agreement
B.   Yes, with some areas that we have agreed to not discuss
C.   We feel differently in a number of important areas
D.   We don’t discuss our personal feelings in deeply held beliefs

9.  My partner treats me:
 A.   With love and respect (lets me know that he or she is listening and trying to understand)
B.   Reasonably well (occasionally listens and tries to understand)
C.   Poorly (doesn’t listen much and dismisses my concerns and attempts to connect)
D.   With sarcasm and put-downs (acts like or tells me that he or she doesn’t care what I think)

10.  When I think about my future, I:
A.   Look forward to a great time growing old together
B.   Hope that things will continue to get better together
C.   Am concerned that our problems may not get resolved
D.   Am scared that these problems will stay or get worse.